Have you heard of the term “self-fulfilling” prophecies? It relates to the idea that if you believe something long enough... it will actually have more of a likelihood to come true.

This happens within relationships too. We can have a lot of ideas about how a relationship “should” work that come from the way we were raised, our religious structures, our particular culture and/or media messages.

Unfortunately... many of these “shoulds” are myths... and if left unchecked, they can be unnecessarily toxic to your relationship. I call any relationship pain that comes from misinformation, an unnecessary tragedy.

As a sex therapist I see these types of myths all the time in regards to: how often one or the other wants to have sex, what kinds of sex we like to have, what we’re thinking about during sex, whether or not one of us wants to enjoy solo sex or sexually explicit materials, who’s initiating, etc. Myths can also abound in regards to gender roles especially in heterosexual relationships: how a woman should be acting versus how a man should be showing up.

If you’re in a relational struggle that sounds like a broken record... let’s make sure whatever you’re upset about is grounded in good relational science instead of passed down, harmful stories.